Discworld 33 - Going Postal by Pratchett Terry

Author:Pratchett, Terry [Terry, Pratchett,]
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Publisher: Acrobat Distiller 6.0 (Windows)
Published: 2010-06-21T04:00:00+00:00

‘Acting Postmaster . . .’ mumbled Groat. ‘That’s right, Mr Groat.’ ‘No Groat has ever been Acting Postmaster . . .’ Suddenly Groat dropped to his knees and gripped Moist round the legs. ‘Oh, thank you, sir! I won’t let you down, Mr Lipwig! You can rely on me, sir! Neither rain nor snow nor glom of—’ ‘Yes, yes, thank you, Acting Postmaster, thank you, that’s enough, thank you,’ said Moist, trying to pull away. ‘Please get up, Mr Groat. Mr Groat, please!’ ‘Can I wear the winged hat while you’re gone, sir?’ Groat pleaded. ‘It’d mean such a lot, sir—’ ‘I’m sure it would, Mr Groat, but not today. Today, the hat flies to Sto Lat.’ Groat stood up. ‘Should it really be you that takes the mail, sir?’ ‘Who else? Golems can’t move fast enough, Stanley is . . . well, Stanley, and the rest of you gentlemen are ol— rich in years.’ Moist rubbed his hands together. ‘No argument, Acting Postmaster Groat! Now - let’s sell some stamps!’ The doors were opened, and the crowd flocked in. Vetinari had been right. If there was any action, the people of Ankh-Morpork liked to be a part of it. Penny stamps flowed over the makeshift counter. After all, the reasoning went, for a penny you got something worth a penny, right? After all, even if it was a joke it was as safe as buying money! And envelopes came the other way. People were actually writing letters in the Post Office. Moist made a mental note: envelopes with a stamp already on them and a sheet of folded paper inside them: Instant Letter Kit, Just Add Ink! That was an important rule of any game: always make it easy for people to give you money. To his surprise, although he realized it shouldn’t have been, Drumknott elbowed his way through the crowd with a small but heavy leather package, sealed with a heavy wax seal bearing the city crest and a heavy V. It was addressed to the mayor of Sto Lat. ‘Government business,’ he announced pointedly, as he handed it over. ‘Do you want to buy any stamps for it?’ said Moist, taking the packet. ‘What do you think, Postmaster?’ said the clerk. ‘I definitely think government business travels free,’ said Moist. ‘Thank you, Mr Lipwig. The lord likes a fast learner.’ Other mail for Sto Lat did get stamped, though. A lot of people had friends or business there. Moist looked around. People were scribbling everywhere, even holding the notepaper up against walls. The stamps, penny and twopenny, were shifting fast. At the other end of the hall, the golems were sorting the endless mail mountains . . . In fact, in a small way, the place was bustling. You should’ve seen it, sir, you should’ve seen it! ‘Lipwig, are yer?’ He snapped out of a dream of chandeliers to see a thickset man in front of him. Recognition took “a moment, and then said that this

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